Great Dane Joke

There are 3 dogs in a veterinarian clinic: a Poodle, a Chihuahua, and a Great Dane.
The poodle asks the Chihuahua,” What are you in here for?” The Chihuahua says,” Well usually I’m a good dog…but I have a huge problem with my mail man. I don’t know why, I just always have to bite him, and I gave him a serious injury. So… they’re going to put me to sleep today. What are you here for?” he asks the poodle.

The poodle says, “Well usually I’m a pretty good dog, but my owners son always sticks his finger in my food while I’m eating. And when he does that…I just got to bite him I don’t know why. And I really hurt him. So there going to put me to sleep today.”

The two dogs look at the Great Dane, and the Great Dane is like 20 times bigger than them. And they ask,” DAMN MAN!!! What are you in here for? You never see Great Danes in the pound.” And the Great Dane says,” Awwww, you guys wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” And they said, “JUST TELL US!”

So the Great Dane says, “Well usually I’m a pretty good dog, but you see I have like the hottest owner in the world. She’s a beautiful woman with a HOT RACK and SEXY ASS. One day when she got out of the shower, she bent over to get a towel. When she did, I totally lost all self-control. So I mounted her and started GOING AT IT!!!”

The two dogs say, “DAMN MAN!!! So they’re going to put you to sleep too huh???” And the Great Dane replies, “HELL NO, I’M JUST HERE TO GET MY NAILS TRIMMED!”

April 1, 2011 | | Posted in: Jokes | 87 Comments »

Dog Joke

A guy walks into a bar and sees a dog lying in the corner licking his balls. He turns to the bartender and says, “Boy, wish I could do that.”

The Bartender replies, “Maybe you better try petting him first.”

March 5, 2011 | | Posted in: Jokes | No Comments »

Bird Dog Hunting Joke

Buddy tells his friend that he and his new bird dog can talk to each other. Friend says, “right, prove it.” So Buddy points to some bushes and his dog runs over, sniffs around, then returns and barks six times. Buddy says, “there are six birds in those bushes.” “Prove it”, says his friend. Buddy takes a shot in the air and sure enough, six birds come flying out. “That’s great”, says the friend, “can I try that?” Sure says Buddy, so the friend points to some bushes and off goes the dog. This time the dog is gone for awhile. When he finally returns, he runs up to Buddy’s freind and start pumping his leg. “Get this crazy, gay dog off me.” The dog stops and picks up a stick in his mouth and starts the shake it back and forth. “You’ve got one crazy dog Buddy.” “You and that dog can’t talk.” Sure we can. He’s telling you that there are more fn birds in there than you can shake a stick at!

| | Posted in: Jokes | 83 Comments »