Jokes About Politicians

Political Quotes

“Opinions Are Like Assholes; Everyone Has One And They ALL Stink”
“How Can I Miss You…If You Won’t Go Away”

Political Jokes

Political Jokes – What’s Politics

Boy: Dad, what's politics?

Dad: Let me set an example with our family. I have all the money so we'll call me the management. Mom receives most of it so we'll call her the government. We'll call the maid the working class, you are the people, and your baby brother is the future. Do you understand now son? 

Boy: I still don't understand dad.

Dad: Think about it for a while son. 

That night the boy wakes up because his baby brother is crying. He goes in and finds out he's soiled his diapers. He goes to tell his mom but she's asleep he goes in to the maids room but she's in there having sex with his dad. He bangs on the door but no one can here him. 

The next day...

Son: Dad I understand politics now. 

Dad: Good, explain it to me in your own words son.

Son: The management is screwing the working class while the government's fast asleep. The people are being ignored and the future is full of SHIT!

Political Jokes – Abortion Bill Joke

President Clinton looks up from his desk in the Oval Office to see one of his aides nervously approach him. 

"What is it?" exclaims the President.

"It's the Abortion Bill, Mr. President - what do you want to do about it?"

"Just go ahead and pay it."

Political Jokes – Morals Joke

A call girl brings a customer to her fancy apartment. He admires the fancy furnishings and the art and asks how she was able to afford it all. She replies that it was all her father’s, that he was a politician for forty years. He said, How come you didn’t follow in his footsteps instead of choosing this way of life? She sighed and said, “Oh, just lucky I guess. Besides, I had my moral standards to uphold.”

Political Jokes – Envy Joke

Q. Why do politicians envy ventriloquists?
A. Because they can lie without moving their lips.

Political Jokes – Diaper Joke

Politicians are a lot like diapers… They should be changed often and for the same reason.