Funny Hunting Jokes About Hunters

Bear Hunting Jokes, Bird Dog Hunting Jokes, Hunting Emergency Jokes, Taxidermist Jokes

Hunting Jokes – Bear Hunting Joke

Every year, Bob goes hunting during bear season. One year, Bob goes hunting, and shoots a small brown bear. Then, the mother of that small brown bear comes up to him and says, " I'll give you two choices, I'll either kill you, or make love to you, but I won't let you go."

Bob thinks on this, and decides he wants to live, so the mother bear then makes love to him.

The next year, Bob goes hunting again, but this time, he shoots the mother bear that he was forced to make love to the year before. He shoots her, and her mother comes after Bob, and again, gives him the choice. "I will make love to you, or kill you, which will it be??"

Again, Bob makes love to a bear.

The next year, Bob goes once again for revenge, and kills the bear that he was forced to make love to the year before.

This time, her sister comes up to Bob and says, "You don't come here for the hunting, do you?"

Hunting Jokes – Hunting Emergency

Two hunters were walking through the woods. One of them fell down and grabbed his chest like he was in great pain. His friend had a cell phone with him and called 9-1-1. He said, I need help, I think my friend is dead. She said calm down I can help! First, make sure he is dead. The operated waited, and then heard a gun shot. He came back on the phone and said, now what?

Hunting Jokes – Taxidermist

A taxidermist went on vacation down south. He is feeling a little thirsty and decides to have a few drinks at the nearest tavern. Upon entering the tavern, the conversation stops and all eyes turn to him. Feeling a little uneasy, he makes his way to the bar to order a beer. The bartender serves him
and says, “Ya ain’t from ’round these parts, are ya?” Taxidermist: “No…I’m from Connecticut.” Bartender: “What is it you do up there in Connecticut?” Taxidermist: “Well, I am a taxidermist.” Bartender: “A taxidermist…Hey Al, you ever hear of a taxidermist?” Al: “No, never heard of it.” Bartender: “So Mr. Taxidermist, what is it you do exactly?” Taxidermist: “Well, I mount dead animals.” Bartender: “It’s OK boys–he’s one of us!”

Hunting Jokes – Bird Dog Hunting Joke

Buddy tells his friend that he and his new bird dog can talk to each other. Freind says, “right, prove it.” So Buddy points to some bushes and his dog runs over, sniffs around, then returns and barks six times. Buddy says, “there are six birds in those bushes.” “Prove it”, says his friend. Buddy takes a shot in the air and sure enough, six birds come flying out. “That’s great”, says the friend, “can I try that?” Sure says Buddy, so the friend points to some bushes and off goes the dog. This time the dog is gone for awhile. When he finally returns, he runs up to Buddy’s freind and start pumping his leg. “Get this crazy, fag dog off me.” The dog stops and picks up a stick in his mouth and starts the shake it back and forth. “You’ve got one crazy dog Buddy.” “You and that dog can’t talk.” Sure we can. He’s telling you that there are more fucking birds in there than you can shake a stick at!

Tell Funny Hunting Jokes – Tell A Joke

or

Have a hunting joke to share ~ submit hunting jokes to Funny Jokes & Quotes.