Funny Golf Jokes About Golfers for Some Fun Golf Humor

Golf Jokes – Four Married Golfers

Four married guys go golfing. While playing the course, the following conversation took place: 

1st Guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend."

2nd Guy: "That's nothing, I had to promise my wife I will build a new deck for the pool."

3rd Guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife I will remodel the kitchen for her."

They continued to play when they realized that the 4th guy hadn't said anything. So they asked him, "You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come golfing this weekend. What's the deal?" 

4th guy: I just set my alarm for 5:30 a.m. and when it went off, I shut off the alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said, "golf course or intercourse?" And she said, "Wear your sweater".

Golf Jokes – Missed Putt

A couple playing in the annual “Husband & Wife Club Championship”. They are playing in a play-off hole and it is down to a 6 inch putt that the wife has to make. She takes her stance and her husband can see her trembling. She putts and misses, they lose the match. On the way home in the car her husband is fuming. ” I can’t believe you missed that putt! That putt was no longer than my ‘willy’.” The wife just looked over at her husband and smiled and said, “Yes dear, but it was much harder.”

Golf Jokes – Bad Weather

There was this guy who went golfing every Saturday, it didn’t matter what kind of weather it was. One Saturday he left the house early and headed for the golf course, but it was so bitter cold that he decided that he wouldn’t golf that day and went back home. His wife was still in bed when he got there, so he took off his clothes and snuggled up to his wife and said “Terrible weather out there.” She replied, “Yeah, can you believe my stupid husband went golfing.”

Golf Jokes – Scratch Golfer Joke

Two women were put together as partners in the club tournament and met on the putting green for the first time. After introductions, the first golfer asked, What’s your handicap? Oh, I’m a scratch golfer, the other replied. 

"Really!" exclaimed the first woman, suitably impressed that she was paired up with her.

"Yes, I write down all my good scores and scratch out the bad ones!"

Golf Quotes

"Swing Hard In Case You Hit It"

"A Bad Day At Golf Is Better Than A Good Day At Work"

"I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game...it's called an eraser." - Arnold Palmer

"Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic."

Tell Funny Golf Jokes – Tell A Joke

or

Have a funny golf joke to share ~ submit funny golf jokes to Funny Jokes & Quotes.

More Golf Jokes… Click Here