Funny Female Quotes, Funny Male Quotes, Funny Golf Quotes, Funny Fishing Quotes, Funny Sex Quotes, Funny Drinking Quotes & Funny Sayings

Funny Quotes

"He wears the pants...she just tells him which ones to wear." - Submitted by Shanna

"Men, Coffee & Chocolate...The Richer The Better." - Submitted by Shannon

"Behind every successful women there's a substantial amount of coffee."

"Men are like bank accounts...without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest."

"Behind every successful man is a surprised woman."

"You cannot fight everyone - but you can make everyone die of laughter."
- Submitted by Robert D Dangoor

"Opinions are like assholes; everyone has one and they all stink."

"If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?"

"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."

"Is it good, if a vacuum really sucks?" - Submitted by Chris

"In God we trust; all others must pay cash."

"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and plot your revenge."

"When it comes to thought, some people stop at nothing."

"I know my limit...I'm just drunk when I reach it." - Submitted by Shanna

"Rehab's for Quiters."

"Nice Guys Finish...In the Shower."

"Why jump out of a 'perfectly good' plane."

"Mind over matter...if you don't mind, it doesn't matter."

"Drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts."

"It's not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame." - Submitted by John

"I'm not having a hot flash I am having a power surge." - Submitted by Julie Ann

"It's not who you know...It's who you blow."

"I have PMS and a GPS, which means that I'm a Bitch who will find you."

"If you're talking behind my back, you're in a good position to kiss my ass."

"I thought I made a mistake once, but I was wrong".

"Now we're cooking with gas."

"Shit up the creek...with out a paddle."