Funny Jokes About Doctors

Doctor Jokes – Memory

Patient: Doctor, I have a serious memory problem. I can’t remember anything!
Doctor: So, since when did you have this problem?
Patient: What problem?

Doctor Jokes – Trumpet

Patient: “And when my right arm is all better, will I be able to play the trumpet?”
Doctor: “Most certainly – you should be able to play it with ease.”
Patient: “That’s wonderful – I could never play it before.”

Doctor Jokes – Headaches

A man comes to the doctor with a long history of migrane headaches. When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that his poor patient has had practically every therapy known to man for his migranes and STILL no improvement. “Listen,” says the doc. “I have migranes, too…and the advice I’m going to give you isn’t really anything I learned in medical school, but it’s advice that I’ve gotten from my own experience. When I have a migrane, I go home, get in a nice hot bathtub, and soak for a while. Then I have my wife sponge me off with the hottest water I can stand…especially around the forehead.
This helps a little. Then I get out of the tub, take her into the bedroom, and even if my head is killing me, I force myself to have sex…and almost always, the headache is immediately gone. Give it a try, and come back and see me in six weeks.”

Six weeks later, the patient returns with a big grin. “Doc! I took your advice and it works! It REALLY WORKS! I’ve had migranes for 17 years and this is the FIRST time anyone has ever helped me!” Well, says the physician, I’m glad I could help. “By the way, Doc,” the patient adds, “You have a really nice house.”

Doctor Jokes – Sexual Problems

A couple went to the doctor’s office.
The doctor asked, “What can I do for you?”
The man said, “Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?”

The doctor looked puzzled but agreed. When the couple had finished, the doctor said, “There is nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse,” and he charged them $32.00 for the office visit.

This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have intercourse, pay the doctor and leave. Finally the doctor asked, “Just exactly what are you trying to find out?”

The old man replied, “We’re not trying to find out anything. She is married and we can’t go to her house. I am married so we can’t go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $60.00. The Hilton charges $98.00, we do it here for $32.00, and I get back $28.00 from Medicare for a visit to the doctor’s office.”

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