Funny Jokes About Blondes
Q & A Blonde Jokes
Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.
Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They’re both empty from the neck up.
Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.
Q: Did you hear about the blond who had two chances to get pregnant?
A: She blew it both times!
Q: How do you know when a blond’s been in your frige?
A: Lipstick on the cucumbers!
Q: What do you call four Blondes in a Volkswagon?
A: Far-from-thinkin
Q: What did the blonde say when asked if she’d ever been picked up by ‘the fuzz’?
A: ‘No. But I’ve been swung around by the tits.’
Q: What’s a blondes’ favorite rock group?
A: Air Supply.
Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.
Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for blondes?
A: Because at 69 they blow a rod…
Dumb Blonde Jokes
Parachute Jumping
On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor. He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.
The blonde asked, “How am I supposed to know when I’m at 300 feet?”
“That’s a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground.”
After pondering his answer, she asked, “What happens if there’s no one there I know?”
Pizza
A blonde went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.
“Six please” she said, “I could never eat twelve!”
Blonde In Pain
A blonde said to her doctor, You have to help me, I hurt all over. Where does it hurt, said the doctor. The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, “Ouch, that hurts.” Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, “Ouch! That hurts, too.” Then she touched her right earlobe. “Ouch, THAT even hurts.” The doctor asked the woman, “Are you a natural blonde?” Why yes, she said. I thought so, said the doctor… “You have a sprained finger.”
Ultimate Sacrifice
There is a brunette and a blonde hanging over the edge of a cliff off a piece of rope. They realize that the rope will break if one of them doesn’t let go and they will both fall to their deaths. The brunette starts this big heartwarming speech about how she is going to sacrifice herself. At the end of the speech the blonde starts clapping.
